Is this too mean?

Well, too bad if it is. Here are excerpts from a poem I've composed for my father-in-law's 80th birthday lunch, in about a half hour. He is fond of saying that "When you get mad, you get dumb," although recent research suggests otherwise, and I've waxed lyrical (or tried to) on that subject.

He shared his wisdom so many times

It renders you totally numb:

"Remember," says Alex, who forgets all his crimes,

"That when you get mad you get dumb."

But the very latest in research has shown

That when you get mad you get smart.

So Alex -- whose wisdom has certainly grown --

Must review all his work from the start.

In life everybody gets one free pass

For no one can always succeed.

In Alex's case, it was oil and gas,

Where failure was all but decreed.

Raising a family and paying each bill

Requires remarkable powers.

And so does the foresight, and sheer force of will,

To sell artificial flowers.

But why stop there, when the world begs for more?

Alex has vision and heart.

And so his next business, which didn't quire score,

Had to do with tax loopholes and art.

[this portion censored to preserve privacy]

Today he is happy, which means he is kind -- right?

He can't have it totally wrong.

Perhaps things look different when you see them through hindsight,

But Alex can't stay mad for long.

Alex is proof that a well-lived life

Depends more on luck than on scruples.

It's lucky he's got such an organized wife,

Or he might still be selling those loopholes!

So if we get smarter when we become mad,

Then Alex was actually wrong.

Well, Alex, here's hoping your judgment stays bad

In a future that's healthy and long.

Here's hoping he can take a joke ...

--T.A.

Comments

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I think it'll totally confuse him. Is it a compliment or an insult? How he takes it will depend on whether he's more vain or paranoid.