Danny Miller: The Interview

Danny gives the greatest answers: First, he expresses frustrated incredulity at the vagueness of the question, then berates himself for his answer, then gives the most fabulous answer.

To wit:

1.    What is the most intense physical pain you've ever felt, and what were the circumstances?

Having just returned from several hours in the emergency room because my infant daughter had scratched my ex-wife's cornea, I suddenly doubled over in pain which got so bad that my eyepatched wife drove us right back to the emergency room. As I waited to be seen it hurt so much that I remember ripping  clothes off, not caring what anyone thought or saw. Turns out I was having acute
appendicitis and was operated on almost immediately. I remember thinking as I was doubled over, "make a mental note of this pain to remember in the future."

2.    What is the one thing you most hope to accomplish in your lifetime?

This is the kind of question that would make me run screaming out of a job interview. How do you answer it? Part of me wants to say something very altruistic and part of me  wants to focus on the goal of achievement through my own creativity and writing. Can I do both? Achieve great personal,
professional, and financial success through writing that also helps people? Then of course I think of my daughter and how, if I can help give her a solid foundation of love and support and minimal neuroses during her childhood, what could possibly be more important? And then I think that to make that possible, I also need to focus on some of my emotional blocks and barriers and I think
that mastering those would be a great accomplishment indeed, but then it all starts to sound very narcissistic again so I want to tell you that I most hope to end world hunger in my lifetime. It's not true, but I WANT to tell you that.

3.    What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you?

Another hard one. Funny to me? Funny to others (i.e., humiliating to me)? In the latter category, seeing my appearance on a 1970s Karoll's TV commercial wearing a purple leisure suit would send most people I know into hysterial fits of laughter, as would my performance on the old Channel 32 show, "Kiddie A-Go-Go." In terms of moments that cracked ME up, one immediately comes to mind. We were at a wedding in Toronto and standing in front of our hotel talking to my Aunt Florence. She tended to talk A LOT and was going on and on about something a mile a minute as she was waiting to be picked up by her husband, my Uncle Herb. She was talking so fast and furious as a car pulled up that she just opened the door and got into the car, still talking, until she shut the door and looked around only to find a total stranger—it wasn't my Uncle Herb's car at all! Maybe you had to be there but we thought it was the funniest thing we had ever seen—I still think of this moment when I want to laugh!

Or do you mean "funniest" as in weirdest? Like the time I was in Munich with a friend and we were sort of kidnapped into the underground world of Palestinian truck smugglers?

4.    Who is the most famous person you've ever met personally?

Yikes, that's pretty subjective, no? And what do you mean by "meet"? Actually introduced to someone? I guess that rules out my weekly drooling over Annette Bening whose child goes to my daughter's drama school? Or sitting alone (and naked!) with Magic Johnson  in the steam room of the health club I used to go to? Or shaking Prince Charles' hand as he opened a British Art exhibit at the Art Institute decades ago? Or being stuck in an elevator with Barbara Billingsley, aka June Cleaver? I've met lots of former movie stars through Kendall's showbiz family which is always fun, but one that really excited me was Eva Marie Saint. We saw her once at a play and Kendall, having known her since she was a kid, grabbed her from behind and screamed, "I'm stalking you!" I saw a look of terror flash over Eva Marie's gorgeous "North by Northwest" face, soon replaced by smiles and hugs. Then, last year, before our wedding, I was at a memorial with Kendall's mom Betsy at which Eva Marie was speaking. Afterwards she came up to Betsy and, referring to the wedding invitation that she had just received, said, "So...do you like the guy!" I was so excited to hear Eva Marie Saint refer to me that I started shouting, "I'm the guy! I'm the guy!" Are these answers too shallow? Should I be talking about the great writers and scientists and civil rights leaders I've met? Nah, I'm too much of a starfucker.

5.    If you could change one thing about yourself -- physically, mentally, emotionally -- what would it be?

Oh God, these questions!! Again, I fear the shallowness of my replies. Maybe I'd change my fear of shallowness. Physically give me five more inches of height, a full head of hair, or the return of taut skin under my chin (yikes, and this from the man whose most recent blog entry is all about the beauty of the natural aging process). Mentally I'd like to stave off the slow-growing dementia that already makes me forget everything I don't immediately write down. And emotionally, I'd like to be able to feel my emotions without the constant judgment that I have no "right" to them.

Stay tuned...

--T.A.

Comments

[amba]

Now why the heck did you file that under "Health, Mental"?! Are you putting Danny in your own personal loony bin?

[david]

Good question. I just... didn't have anywhere else to put it! Plus, I think everything Danny says either (a) has something to do with mental health, (b) improves mine, or (c) both of the above.

[jar]

Great questions.