Intelligent Design and Ear Hair

My True Ann-Sister does a great job of following the emerging field of Intelligent Design Theory.

My brother and I, however, have often remarked on the accumulating absurdity of the male body as it grows older. Specifically, ear hair. In ear hair, we have, it would seem to me, conclusive evidence of the innate idiocy of male homo sapiens (as if proof were needed). Ear hair is unsightly, so it dramatically reduces the odds of mating and propagation of the species. In its rampant form, it can occlude hearing, thus rendering the adult male oblivious to environmental signals (like threats, or requests to take out the garbage).

How Intelligent can Design be, if the body begins to have hair everywhere it shouldn't, and nowhere it should? Is it Nature's way of telling us to get lost? Or making us glad to finally die?

The onset of lush aural vegetation seems concurrent with the Male Snore. Some -- OK I -- speculate that, as early hominids grew older and could no longer effectively hunt or make war, they developed a snore, which scared off nocturnal predators. Unfortunately, it also scares off mates, tree squirrels, birds, in fact, every living thing for hundreds of miles. Early snorers would awake to find that their snore had turned their plentiful biosphere into an ecological wasteland. Again, I ask: how Intelligent could such a Design be?

Women may argue that Nature is also not kind to them: they droop and sag, they go gray. Some even grow facial hair. I would submit, however, that a man's transformation into hideous, grunting, whiny beast (if he wasn't that in youth, he's sure to get there, with time) is evidence of either (a) a Creator with a cruel sense of humor, (b) Unintelligent Design, or (c) the inclusion of Divine Come-Uppance as a central tenant of Intelligent Design. Possibly all three.

I'm not intelligent enough to figure it out. Plus, I'm in too much pain to think straight. I cut my ears shaving.

--T.A.

Comments

[amba]

ROTFLMAO!

[Matt]

D-- This is great! Your thoughts on snoring in particular are insightful. If snoring does scare away predators, as you say, I have some very powerful genes in parts of my immediate family. Unfortunately, it seems to be passed through the maternal line, from mother to daughter...

[Yehoshua Karsh]

I believe you have demonstrated a gradual, reverse , evolution. We begin as humans and almost imperceptibly, tansform into apes.

[david]

Wow. Maybe as we elevate spiritually, we have to go through some kind of cosmic check-and-balancing act... so, Rabbi Karsh, have we formed a theory of Cruel Design?

[Richard Lawrence Cohen]

David,
Great last line!

More seriously, have you ever been checked out for sleep apnea?

[david]

Richard:
No, and I probably should. I've looked into a variety of torture devices for keeping my airway open. The thought of any one of them is enough to keep me up all night. In which case, my wife finally would get a good night's sleep.